WBC Day 3| The President or a Packet of Maputi?

I have written bizarre things before but this? This is bats in the belfry level, also I am feeling a bit unbalanced and it would quite seem to be the day to go a little schizo. As I was sitting on my slavery station enjoying a packet of maputi and making orgasmic sounds while chewing on the popped corn. It occurred to me that I was in a highly stimulated maputi heaven, as opposed to the austere and bland reality of this country. This country is a sinking wreck and this realism disrupted a really blissful maputi moment. So I thought, who would make a great president of the country, ED or this amazing packet of maputi. As a consequence, maputi was an objective and preferred choice.

Right. See, maputi is a reasonably seasoned snack compared to the bleak, loathsome snake.  Maputi tastes good and on most days, I crave it. It is not affiliated with poverty, oppression, neo-colonialism, and corruption. Maputi is a jolly good fellow, who is unproblematic and minds his business. Anyone can have a pack and enjoy this carb snack without any sort of elite classicism. The queen of England can have a pack of maputi, Jay-z too, you, I mean anybody can have a pack. Status quo is neither here nor there, it is just good old maputi that makes everybody happy.

It is cheap and easily affordable and even in this current aggressive economic environment maputi still wins. Would you rather chew maputi or this vile cold pill? No thank you, you can pass the corn, see corn prevents malnutrition in children. Acute deficiencies such as marasmus and with the new age maputi that has nuts in it, boom! take that kwashiorkor. ( being allergic to nuts is a white man’s condition) There is nothing as beautiful as an aerial view of continuous cornfields that makes this country look absolutely breathtaking. Unlike the dull vast landscape filled with graves. The prospects of purchasing a pack from a random 50c in your purse is satisfying. You are bored, here is pack sir, you are heartbroken, take this maputi ma’am, you are hungry but trying to lose weight? Here, maputi is the perfect snack. I mean maputi is undefeated guys.

Who else is enjoyable and easily accessible than a pack of maputi? Who can simultaneously please an entire nation at such cost-effectiveness for both the young and the old? I vote for maputi to be our next president and free us from the humdrum clasp of tyranny. I have sanitized this blog with a picture of LOL because I suffer from repression PTSD and I am not sure about my rights on freedom of expression. I shake in my boots people. You should check out a satire that I wrote on this blog once upon a time. You probably didn’t read it because you people don’t bother to read my blog. You are a bunch of pathetic sadistic pixies. Anyhoo, I wrote about a day with our former president and first lady before the coup that was not the coup. You should check it out The Mad King. Maputi to di world!

Did you know there is no single aesthetically pleasing pictures of maputi on the great god of internet Google? Shame on you Zimbabweans. I am going to make it a personal task to have a professional photoshoot of a pack of maputi and upload it as a free stock image. You are welcome.

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