A momma’s boy is thee worst person to date or get married to! I am saying this because I have had my fair share of those psychologically defected breed of men and trust me, you do not want to go there. Now, a lot of you might feel like your mommies are being attacked and maybe this post is outrageous. You might need to sit down and let me walk you through this. We stan a man who has a healthy relationship with his mother, (they make the best partners by the way) but please take note of the keyword ‘healthy.’ Yes, a man who is not controlled by his mum and emotionally dependant on her. Emotional intimacy between son and mother is the core of the mommy complex, which has raised some crappy detached men who suffer from an avoidant disorder. So lets get right into it.
1. YOU WILL BE STUCK IN A PERMANENT LOVE TRIANGLE. Listen, its a polygamous set up, his mother is his first wife and you are the second wife. This is a grown adult man who is still latched on his mothers breast. Mother and son are both emotionally dependant on each other and you are an intruder. His mothers needs comes first before yours, she controls his life that includes finances, bills, life altering decisions, I mean she basically runs him. Then comes you, where do you fit in? Mother and son will continue to feed from each other while you look on. Your needs as partner are trivial and he would rather put his efforts on his relationship with his mother because she is the spinal chord of his life. He has no back bone so he is more invested in her than you, whatever the case, your relationship with him consists of three people and you are just a bystander. I dated a guy who proposed to me, and when we broke the news of our engagement to his mother she lost it. The woman cried, cussed and threw me out because he proposed without consulting her first. He had the nerve to break the engagement because mommy said so. He is 40, single and still lives with his mum.
2. HE CAN NOT COMMIT. Men who compare every woman they meet with their mother simply can not commit. No-one can match the love from his mother. So he will jump from one relationship to another because he is seeking a mother and son relationship from a romantic acquaintance. They tend to suffer from a couple of disorders, inability to love and shuts down from his frustrated quest to find his mother in other women. He will always be a boy as children can not fully love and commit to a woman.
3. A SERIAL WOMANIZER. Because of the inability to fully love another woman, a momma’s boy cheats like its going out of fashion. Women are like toys to him, he can pick one and drop it instantaneously. He is emotionally unavailable, so women are just sexual exploits that is why its easy to cheat and juggle them like a circus clown. His mother approves of this behaviour because it gives her the security that she can never be “replaced.” This is why some men can introduce various girls to thier mum at the same time, because she enables him by allowing it. He can not get sex from his mother so he sources it out from other women. Also he feels imprisoned in this relationship with his mother so having a lot of different women is an escape.
4. SUFFERS FROM THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX. This is a disorder were a man has sexual desire for his mother. It founded its name from a Shakespearean character Oedipus who was abandoned at birth. As an adult, he unkowingly murdered his father and married his mother. A man suffering from this disorder is obsessed with his mother and always sides with her. The sexual desire for his mother is repressed, hence he is not conscious of it. He tends to suffer from a couple of sexual perversions and anxieties. It is impossible to please a man like this and he is always seeking more adventures with other women and the root of this disorder is his obsessive attachment to his mother.
5. LAZY AND SPOILED. Mothers who fill the void of an absent partner with their sons are problematic. They wait on their sons hand and foot. A man who is used to an over nurturing mother seeks women who will cater to him in every single sense. This means all the domestic chores and personal hygiene. These are the type of men who can not even make a bed or wash their own damn underwear. Couch quarterbacks who can not lift a single finger to help themselves. The type of man who will forget to flash his own bowel products, leaves skid marks on the toilet basin and underwear. (Which he throws in the laundry basket for someone to wash it for him, gosh). They make terrible husbands.
6. ABUSIVE. The fact that he is emotionally and physically detached, makes him an abusive partner. He simply does not care about your needs and ignores you. He messes up and refuses to face confrontation by shutting down. There is no resolutions to relationship problems because he remotely agrees with you just to end the conversation or refuses to communicate. He feels he is not bound to you and does not owe you anything so he can do whatever pleases him without caring if it hurts you. He lacks human decency and emotion. These are the type of men who just ghost on you with no explanation at all. They never aplologise or acknowledge their mistakes and try to rectify them. They are monsters. Emotionally dead.
7. HE WILL NEVER CHANGE. A momma’s boy will never change. He has an inclination to be reponsible for his mother at all costs. He is enmeshed with his mother which is also known as passive-aggresive personality. Trying to be independent of his mother feels like abandoning her. Usually in this case, mothers guilt trip their sons if they suspect detachment, with sayings like , “You don’t love your mother anymore ever since you started dating that girl.” So he reverts back to her bossom. She will control every aspect of his life and he will flow with it because he feels he is indebted to her. It takes someone to realize that they are in a toxic relationship with their mother to be able to seek help or therapy which is rare.
In conclusion, I am not trying to break sons and mothers please don’t get me wrong. Our mothers ar the best people in our lives but there should be a healthy relationship that does not infringe in to romantic relationships. Emotionally stable mothers create emotionally independent children. Mothers love your sons and vice versa but lets keep it healthy, respectful and children are not there to fill emotional voids. Lets raise better men, who will love and respect women. Ladies, do not turn a blind eye to the red flags, that is path filled with jagged edged rocks.
Stay turned, tomorrow is Poetry Tuesday!