In the blog The Shitty Teapot Shaped Country, I said Zimbabwe was melting resin on Satan’s ass, boy was I out of range with that. This country is actually Satan’s ass crack, the sewer of hell. Stop gaping, I said what I said and today is not the day. While I like to maintain some sort of decency and je ne sais quoi on this blog, this moment I am full-on Rogue. I am in I-don’t-give-a-fuck mode. You need to sit down for this. A lot of seasoned writers would probably charge in here talking about how crudeness affects good writing. Yes Sarah, you too Maggie kindly shut the front door. This is usually when I bring the higgledy-piggledy, higi-haga, crinkum- crankum apolitical blog disclaimer but at this point who am I kidding?
We are at the receiving end of a narcissistic leadership driven by a diabolical insatiable desire for wealth and power. So rapacious in their desire that millions of Zimbabweans are barely surviving in abject poverty. A tyrannical appetite that has created a virtual hell, a perpetual place of fire and suffering. The economy is the licking flames of this hell with a fraudulent currency called bond notes which is as valueless as money from a Monopoly board game. The government woke up one day and pulled out a currency from a monkey’s butt supposedly equivalent to the American dollar. I am not an economist but I could smell the horse shit from miles away. These niggas printed their own money to buy out actual American dollars. Wild. This is nothing astonishing as these goons have been pillaging the country for 37 years! Yup, they have been holding on to power with a vice-like grip with an odd fetish for Hitlerism. My people have been robbed, murdered and violently oppressed.
The thief comes at night to steal, kill and destroy. This particular one came to announce the 150% fuel price hike resulting in catastrophic ripple action in a massive price hike of basic commodities, transport etcetera. As if we were not already pulling maggots from our faces trying to cope with the absurdly expensive life in this shit hole. We are over her juggling double currencies like a clumsy clown, with the American dollar visa the fraudulent joke bond. Do you understand what I am saying? There has been a ludicrous shortage of petrol and diesel, my people have been sleeping in fuel queues indefinitely without hope of fuelling up. Queues 10km long is almost laughable and absolutely ridiculous. Why? Because of the damn double currency that has fucked up merchant trading! Basic life is a struggle, just to get food on the table we have to walk through the valley of shadow and death. Close to four fucking decades of ego centric, self centered and oppressive government. They brought in the big pitch folk to turn us over and tell us it is getting 150% worse. Yes, turn up the heat in this hell hole, burn us!
I walk past starving children in the streets every day, some as young as my three-year-old son and that shit fucks with your mind. My people have turned to alcoholism, what else is there except being functional alcoholics? It is a coping mechanism, that and humor. We make jokes about our pain like retired Russian satires. We snapped goddammit, they went into the streets only to be shot and hunted down by hell hounds. Its a jolly good time in this little landlocked country. A whale of a time I must say. Inflation has been consistently rolling, a bottle of wine has tripled in price yours truly was shit faced on altar wine. Sign of the cross these are desperate times its cost $7.99 measly bonds. I would like to call that the holy litness. Why am I so angry today, because my people had the boldness to rise against this madness and guess what? They shut down the internet, this is a premium level of tyranny. The entire country has no access to the internet! We have been virtually fucked. An oppressive regime so infatuated with power they don’t even owe us human decency. The power of social media had these niggas shaking in their boots they abruptly switched off the servers. For how long are you going to muffle our voices?
This is day two without the internet, my left eye is twitching, I think I am hallucinating and I can see dead people. There has been shortness of breath every time I have tried to refresh internet settings. Slight palpitations and I have a rash around my neck from swallowing the bitter bile of ruthless exploitation. There is nothing, nothing as vile as taking the internet from people. This is 1000 degrees Celcius of we don’t give a flying fuck about you. The streets are dead and not a single person in sight except for armed militia. My people have been hiding in their homes too scared to come out and risk getting shot at. It is a complete national shut down, shops businesses, everything closed. It’s like a Zombie Apocalypse you can’t even go out to look for food. An abuser will alienate and isolate their victim from the world. Here we are the Citizens of hell burning in the fury of Hitlerism.
I tried to calculate the transport cost after the announcement of the fuel price hike and I thought I was having a stroke. I would need $20 per day that is a total of $100 per week. I laughed and then cried hysterically. What the hell, just kill us already. Everything is crazy expensive and now they want to triple the prices? AGAIN. HA! Even Satan is jealous. I don’t know when I am going to publish this blog, I don’t know when the internet is going to be back. It breaks my heart when I look at my children, I really really don’t want to fail them but they keep throwing boulders at us. We will ever be free from the Devil’s grasp? Is there hope? Will the stupid undermining propaganda ever stop? Will this era of totalitarianism end? Will this economy stabilize? When is the suffering going to end? Where is the compassion? Who can answer these questions?
We remember the murder of innocent people and the genocide of a certain tribe 30 years ago. All that blood on your hands is your own undoing. You might try and try to wash it off your hands but it will trickle on. Karma is in the gym doing one hell of a workout. Blood spill and tears is a curse that rages like a bull. Even your propaganda smirks before you spew it on the incredulous masses. You can’t even say this bullshit yourselves you have mouthpieces to act a fool for you. How do you even sleep at night?
The skeletons in the closet are knocking, the dead children are asking for their mummy and daddy. Look at that dead pregnant woman shaking her head, standing at the foot of your bed. Is that why you need a sedative to sleep? Drown the voices of grumbling Zimbos with more sedatives. Is power worth this mental torment?
Macbeth, Macbeth, where are you…