Miscarried Friendships

The world is an interconnected web of people with mutual trust and support. Typically gravitating towards each other due to common interests, admiration of certain character traits and good affectionate terms. Friendship. A bond between two people of mutual affection, exclusive of sexual and family relations. I wrote a post about the The Friend That I Am sometime back and I thought hey what about the friendships that fizzled out? It seems the older you get the less friends you have!
Acquiring friends is a social skill naturally embedded in our human nature. We all have friends, like minded people who we can hang out with and depend on, in time of need. However in the circle of life we tend to lose some of our dear acquaintances. Have you ever asked yourself this question, “We were such good friends, what happened?” As human beings our lives are continuously changing from one version of ourselves to the next. We lose friends along the way because the new version of you is no longer compatible with old friendships. People mature at different times. While going out every weekend and getting sloshed used to be fun, you find yourself more comfortable with chilling at home with a good movie and some wine. It’s not anyone’s fault. Quite simply, we all have different milestones, causing us to experience different things and learning in our own individual way. Values change as we grow up, what used to make sense when you were single can not be applied when you are married. Life style changes, weekends are mostly reserved for some family time instead of masquerading with the squad. Friends become less of a priority as you’re engulfed in new life orbiting around your spouse and children. There really is no place for old friends in our lives, eventually we drift apart. There are some friends who are so infringed in our life they are more like family than anything. They invoke sibling emotions and you treat each other likewise. Usually they are childhood friends, everyone has made peace with the assumption that you’re related. It’s these kind of friends that are a constant in our lives. We fight, we argue but we always find each other again. Like family they will always be there. We have seasonal friends for certain phases of our lives. High school friends are diminished with growth, college friends fizz out as you place yourself in the corporate world. It’s not that you are better than them but they are naturally lost in transition. There are what I would like to call emotional vampires, friends that suck everything out of you. This friendship is usually one sided, its you who is always giving and everything about that friendship resonates around that person. They hardly know anything about you because they are so consumed with themselves. We distance ourselves from emotionally exhausting friendship. We simply have to make that change.
Forcing a friendship because of great memories may result in destroying the said memories. To preserve the history of great friendships sometimes we have to let go. Trying to keep it afloat might inspire resentment and destroy a great history that took years to build. They served their phase but that doesn’t mean you can’t drop an occasional hello. Just to check if they’re okay although that is as far as the friendship can go. Sometimes we put a friendship straight to the guillotine because we feel undervalued and unsupported. It’s a prerequisite for protecting our inner peace. Some friends were a bad decision from onset, they pull you down in every aspect. The next reasonable thing is to cut off the dead weight. Sometimes they even become your enemy. Keep it moving. Do what’s best for you.
Friendship is an awesome aspect of human interaction. Regardless the fact that we lose some along the way, every friend has played an important role in our lives.

3 thoughts on “Miscarried Friendships

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