Another Angry Black Woman

I hate rants, really I do. The last thing I want is to be another typical black angry woman. It’s almost impossible not to fall in this band wagon when you literally live in a third world cud-del-sac driven by patriarchy and alarming ignorance. This Saturday I attended a bridal shower and it took everything in me not to gag at the horse crap that was being spewed.
Why are we raised to be personal robots for men? Seriously, as I sat at this shower and listened to all the advice more like poison for the bride to be; I realized that we have been indoctrinated by a backward culture that we perpetuate patriarchy. A good wife functions with a yes or no logic, no questions asked, whatever her high and mighty husband wants, so shall it be. Basically, women have to bend over backwards to please their men lest he might stray and fall in-between the legs of another woman. This also means that you have to lose your individuality, your beliefs, and dignity just to keep a man from cheating. C’mon, are you fucking kidding me? So, marriage is all about a woman at her wits end, doing anything between heaven and earth to distract a man from cheating? If that’s the case, men are sex driven animals, so shallow and stupid that they are one bad meal from jumping to the next woman. Ha! That is a severe dysfunctionality of emotional black mail. Slack and he will slide. What a bunch of illogical, misleading and deceptive nonsense.
How many times have I heard that a man cheated because his spouse was somehow lacking in something that he had to venture elsewhere? This brain crippling mindset is appalling. I watched this young bride-to-be, throwing mechanical smiles as her self-esteem slowly seeped out. Her happily ever after scenario was brutally crushed by acute ignorant, untutored and inferior reasoning that constantly reverts us back to sexism. The same prejudice, stereotyping and discrimination that we fight each day is what we impose on ourselves. This is funny because these women have raised their sons under the same unjust umbrella against women. It will simply never end. We still have a long, long way to go.
This is what I had to endure this Saturday, without the aid of a few glasses of wine I would have stabbed myself in the head. So, as a woman you have to clean, cook, cater to your man’s needs, lose yourself for him because if you dare not oblige, oops he is going to slip and slide in another cooter.  This is pure black mail, why can’t a woman just cater to her man without fearing that he may cheat? Men, how do you feel when you are reduced to scums like this? Is this what it takes to keep you around? Really? Food, good sex, and a woman who has no mind of her own? I hope y’all watched Eddy Murphy’s Coming to America. The man escaped the same robotic type of woman to find another with more substance, personality and independence. I would love to think there is a set caliber of Eddy Murphy-Prince of Zamunda type of men out there. I am not opposed to catering to your man but that threat hanging as if I am indebted to him sucks out the romance and love out of it. Let his love, adoration and mutual respect inspire me to cater to him, not threaten me with infidelity. That is just ludicrous, if you ask me. This is why at my bridal shower, I invited men, hubby himself was there and there were both female and male speakers.
Another thing ladies, I always say this. Do not let these cheating ass leprechauns steal your self-esteem. If he cheats, sweetheart, it’s not your fault. Him cheating has nothing to do with you, believe me you are not lacking in anything or not good enough for him. Never put that on yourself. Do not project a man’s short comings on yourself. Infidelity is caused by so many things, mainly idiocy, childhood abuse, Oedipus Complex, etc. If a man really loves you, he will embrace all of you, including your perversions and flaws. After all, love conquers all. Remember, You is kind. You is important. You is beautiful.

33 thoughts on “Another Angry Black Woman

Add yours

  1. I can feel the heat and the passion in this one, very epic and very powerful, feel no shame or stereotype in the fact you feel what you feel, I love eating the fact you encourage others at the end, this post is a thing of beauty

  2. Like Ms. Bassett, you are fired up! The cheating because you did not “pay me enough attention” excuse is upsetting and belittling. At the end of the day, a woman needs to know her worth in every way.
    I enjoyed reading your “rant.” ?

  3. Hmmmm just what marriage doctor ordered! Cheating can be a sickness depending on where you stand man or woman. No stereotyping coz a man gotta be a man gotta gotta be. Am fortunate to have read this one.

  4. great post, I used to think the same stuff everytime someone forwarded those eye-rolling “A good wife must…”, “If he’s cheating, you should…” etc, posts to me. Training women from a very young age on how to please and keep a man, keep him from cheating and what not is toxic if men aren’t also grilled on how to be better husbands and boyfriends.
    awesome read.

    1. Thank you Roe. It’s so tiring, we need to raise our daughters differently and liberate women from this crippling thinking!

  5. Well said! It’s a sad thing nowadays. We have a long way to go. If he wants to cheat he will cheat plain and simple. No amount of cooking and cleaning will stop him. They need to stop with the BS. I glad you had some wine ? I would have needed some too and pour me a shot of tequila. Great Post!

    1. Lol tequila would have done the job!??? we as women have to know our value and not settle for this BS to be honest!
      Thank you for reading Jannette?

  6. Hi Maka,
    Many thanks for this, kinda needed to hear this. Happened to me and I’m happy I’ve found peace and forgiveness eventually. Again,thank you ?

  7. It took me a long time to come to terms with the fact that my wife’s cheating had very little to do with me. It’s her issues that drive her to seek attention outside of the marriage. Good post !

    1. I am very sorry about that. The moment you realize that it has nothing to do with you , the more you can make peace with it and move on with your life. Thank you for reading 🙂

  8. Men use women “not pleasing them enough” as an excuse to justify their cheating. They know what they’re doing is wrong. They don’t want to take responsibility for it. So, they make it look as if he cheats, it’s somehow the woman’s fault. This society is built off sexism like this anyway, so I’m not surprised.

    1. It’s really pathetic & disgusting to blame their partners for their indefinitely. And the fact that this has become an acceptable mantra pisses me off!
      Oh and thank you for reading, lol I really appreciate!

  9. I love this post. It’s almost as if you are writing straight from the veins in my heart. It is very similar to the one I had just posted. Love it!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Proudly powered by WordPress | Theme: Baskerville 2 by Anders Noren.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: